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I stand-alone in a field of old, long grass. All I ever saw was it moving back and forward, counting how many times it would sway before the sun came up again. I’ll count the suns and moons, they’ll be easier to keep track of. I’ll stand here as long as I live, and stand here after I’ve died, until I slowly give in to the ground. I serve as nothing but a shade umbrella and a decoration. My leaves fall off once a year. I am a tree, and I have no purpose.

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Today, she lost her shoe. She found a ladybug too, it made her smile. If only I could make her smile like that. She was so happy. The old straw grass was taller than her. She didn’t move much, just looked around while her mother played with the dog. The dog came up to her and licked her, and she fell over from laughter. She was so cute, and fragile. She could barely even walk, crawling everywhere, and getting dirt all over her little jeans.

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Today, she ran in circles and fell over. Blood covered her knee. She was only little. So very fragile, she was. Like the smallest touch could break her. She cried until her mother came and got her. I wish I could have helped her. Could have comforted her. Could have told her it was going to be all right. She doesn’t know.

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Her family had a celebration today. It was her birthday. She turned three. She didn’t cry today. Her eyes lit up when her mother brought out her cake. “Happy Birthday Ashley” was written in icing. Her eyes could’ve been stars. Her beautiful, dark blue eyes sparkled. She opened presents, and more and more people came to see her. Her mother got her a charm bracelet. It was silver, and had a small old-fashioned pram charm. She ran around with the other little people. Screaming, smiling, laughing, running, falling, getting back up, it was so happy. I desperately wanted to join them. I know I never will.

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Almost everyday she’d walk straight past, on her way inside, in a grey and red uniform. She had her beautiful black curls tied back, and dirt on her knees. Sometimes she brought her friends, and I saw how much they had grown. She didn’t come to me much anymore. I wished she missed me as much as I missed her. How I hated the days she never came. She still wore the charm bracelet. Except now, it had three more charms. A pram, a bird, a heart and a leaf.

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She came with a cast around her left arm today. I wondered what had happened. I hope she’ll be ok soon. She was just walking the dog today. Around and around. She didn’t have her charm bracelet either. The cast must get in the way of her wearing it.

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She grew taller. Her visits became less and less frequent, and further apart. She only came late in the afternoons. She cried sometimes. Black make up ran down her cheeks and made her look so sad. She tried so hard, I could tell. She tried so hard to fit in, to look good, to be beautiful. Why can’t she be happy? Why would she need to cry? Why couldn’t she see? She was perfect, to me.

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Today, she brought someone along. She never brought anyone here anymore, not even her mother. It was our place, where she didn’t need to say anything and I understood her perfectly. She brought a boy this time. He was slightly taller than her, with dirty brown hair. His eyes were like ice. I didn’t trust them, or him. She seemed so happy with him. Forgetting I was even there.

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She came here again today. If I could’ve smiled I would have. She was so beautiful. Stunning. The hate I felt when I saw him walking up the hill towards her was tremendous. I could’ve fallen on top of him, squished him. Crush him like a bug. That would show him. That would show him to stay away from her. She was too perfect for him, too perfect for anyone.

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He was here. I could see his footprints. I hated them. This was my land, and I didn’t want him here. I don’t ever want to see him and his baggy pants ever again. I could just hurt him. I wish I could protect her. Today, he kissed her. His unworthy lips on her perfect ones. He had kidnapped her heart, and I could see it was fading away on the horizon.

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He clung to her hand today like he was holding on for dear life. He played with her hair, and hugged her from behind. She smiled so much. I could do nothing. I couldn’t do anything to stop him. I didn’t want to either. If she was happy, then I was fine. I missed her though. She had found someone, something else. Just like the charm bracelet, and the ladybug, and her friends from when she was younger, she found something to smile about, something. And then I knew that something would never be me.

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He brought her along this time. They lied down in the long grass. Again, he felt so worthy of her hand, her smile, her kiss. How could he compare? I had always been here, with no other motive every day but to see her face. Since she was only two feet tall, since she started school, he hadn’t been there, waiting.

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The sun shone today but it was far from good. I wished he wouldn’t come today. I wish he never existed, but who cares what an old oak’s opinion is? No one would know. No one will ever know. He held her hand, and led her over to me. He helped her up to sit on my lowest branch. Then he pulled out his knife. I didn’t know what he was doing until I saw him put one arm on me to keep his balance and dug in the knife.
He pushed so hard, carving into my bark. When he finally moved away from the tree, I felt it. Felt the heart and the four letters he’d carved into me. A.H + K.Y, it said, surrounded by a heart. This was his mark. It was as if he knew what I thought. He knew how much I despised him, how much I wished I could’ve been him. She laughed at how he had cut my bark, and that’s what really cut. She thought it was sweet. It wasn’t. I saw straight through him. One day, he’ll leave and I wont be here to help her.

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The one good thing about this day was that she came, without him. Everything else was bad. It hadn’t rained in so long, and there were finally clouds lingering in the sky. The wind blew so fast that your hair was almost covering your face. But then, then you pushed it behind your ear and I saw your beautiful face, but not your beautiful smile. I saw your tears, streaking your face with black mascara. You looked at me, eyes fixed the entire time. I finally thought you understood. I thought you saw me. Thought you knew that I cared for you more than anything else in the world. But you didn’t. You came to me and fell onto your knees. Still crying you looked at my scar and screamed. Again and again. You said “No!” You said, “I don’t need you.” And after you finished yelling at me, you stood up and ran your fingers through your hair. You hugged me and whispered, “I miss you.” The worst part was, you weren’t hugging me. You were hugging what was left of him.

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Today, she never came. I didn’t see her bright smile coming up the hill. I didn’t see her black curls flow down in the wind. Today, she never came.

Tomorrow, she will not come. I wont see her face, or her glowing eyes. I wont see her worn out jeans, or her silver charm bracelet she had since she was three. Tomorrow, she will not come.