Grapes.

Today, I had this really weird craving for grapes. My nan had just recently bought some, so I grabbed them and started eating.

Yes, I am healthy.

Not...

Moving on! So, I ate one grape, and it was rather sour, and then the next one was really sweet, but kind of funny looking. And then I started thinking about guys, and grapes. Then, I started thinking about how guys related to grapes, and after many sick things popped into my mind... I thought, "Gee Wiz! Guys are like grapes!"

You're probably thinking "She's a LOON!" which I am, but anyway. Guys are like grapes because:
1) Some are perfect looking, but sour.
2) Some are ugly, and sweet.
3) Some are ugly and disgusting all together.
4) When you finally find a good grape, you take ages to eat it because you want all the beautiful juicyness out of it, before you swallow.

There are a million gazillion different combinations of grapes! Everyone likes a different one too. So, for me I like mildly good looking, sour grapes. Someone else on the other hand, might like sweet. Some are even allergic to grapes! (You know what I mean ;) And every now and again, you find a grape that's just right. Today, I found one... It was awesome. It's a sign! *wink wink*

I'm kidding. I do not base my future predictions on grapes.

I base them on an eight ball. :D

You know what else I've discovered? That being single, is fun! You can tease and flirt with any boy you want, and no one can tell you off for it! And personally, I like not keeping secrets from people.. Everyone's always wanting to know who you like, or who you're going out with. Well, I honestly don't like anyone, and I'm not going out with anyone either.

And do you know what else? We have our WHOLE LIVES to do all the serious relationship stuff. Why not get out there and play the field a bit? All the relationships I have been in, have ended in someone getting hurt, and that's usually the case with anyone's relationship. I am fourteen! Free! And right now, I just want to have fun. We shouldn't have to rush ourselves. We already have enough pressure from school, family and friends that we don't need ANOTHER thing to worry about. I mean these days, we're expected to pick a career by the age of 15! We're kids! I mean, c'mon... we're not mature enough. Well, at least I'm not.

We have to make everyone proud, or happy. My parents want me to be a pharmacist. I DON'T THINK SO. I've had to deal with enough medicine to last me a lifetime, and I still have one to go. I have no interest in medicine. I like music, and writing, and maths. NOT MEDICINE. They don't care. They just want me to buy them a beach front apartment in Maloolaba, but by the time I save enough money, they'll be too fat to get off their cheapo arses and do anything anyway! Why can't I buy myself a beach front apartment in Maloolaba? Oh, I know, because I don't want to live in Maloolaba. I want to live at home, in Melbourne. With my friends and family, but who cares what makes me happy!? Not my parents, obviously.

Woah, I got a bit off topic there. I guess that's why they call it a rant.

Song of the blog time!
Your Biggest Fan - Never Shout Never!
Honestly, I love it. It's... relatable.

Shout outs to: Flapalopagus, and Rob-Rob. Love you both :) (A LOT!)

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a lovely holiday!

Girls, time to go find some grapes!

Over and Out, Lyndall.

P.S. Today I also discovered that puzzles are like sex.
You have to fit the sticky-outy bit, in the hole.
It's hard and fun, AT THE SAME TIME.

He he he.

Believe Me.

Now, I am seriously sick of everyone telling me who and what to believe.

I have the most amazing friend.

Everyone keeps telling to "Be careful!" or "He's a bad person!".

Shut up.

He is one of my best friends. I have to say, how dare you! Sure, he's stuffed up a few times, and he might not run with the right crowd, but just because someone said that someone said that someone was hurt by him, doesn't mean he's a bad person. Don't judge him.

He might see you or treat you differently to me, but that doesn't give you the right to tell me who to be friends with, who to trust and who to believe. I have morals, and frankly, I find it very disappointing that you think that I can't do anything right.

I am flattered that you care enough to be worried about the decisions I make, but BACK OFF. You've told me once "He is no good!". Yeah, I heard you. And honestly, I don't care if he called you an annoying b*tch, because it is most likely that you are.

He's nice to me, and if I don't care about you, then that's all that matters.

Just, uhh, if things don't work out the way I know they will... please don't come to me saying "I told you so!" because I actually will have to punch you in the face.

You're allowed to have opinions, and I completely respect that, but I don't think it's a very smart idea saying "I hate him!" around me. No, not smart at all.

Anyway, it's one thirty in the morning, and I need to get up to go to Laura's house tomorrow :)

Song Of the Blog:
Cousins - Vampire Weekend
(I LOVE this song! And the video clip is hilarious!)

Over an Out, Lyndall

Just Your Average Rant...

Well, I officially sat down at the computer and I couldn't think of anything to write about.

I can't believe that tomorrow is my last day of being a Year Nine student. A Middle School student. Life is just going past so fast that I can't keep up! Soon, it will be Christmas, and then my birthday and then Year Ten! I'm not ready to be in Year Ten!

Letters. Everyone loves getting letters, it's just no one can be bothered to write one. It's actually kind of sad how technology is taking over social conversations. I know I can't talk, because I don't write letters, and I spend 90% of my time on MSN, but I write to my friends every now and again!

Confidence is a very big issue with a few of my friends. If you were as bad as you say, do you really think I'd go near you? Or talk to you? Or be friends with you? You're not as ugly as a retarded bull, your hair is not as disgusting as my grandma's pubs, your body is not a lump of fat and you are not boring! You're only boring when you say lies about yourself, because every single person I know is special, to me, in one way or another, and if I never talk to you, then you have something that I don't like. Laura and Rob, you are both phenomenal people, and if i hear one more word about you being ugly or boring or anything negative, I'm just going to have to slap you.

Honesty is a massive part of what I want in a friend. You have to be totally honest to me, and i will be with you. I trust really easily, but if you lie, it takes me a while to get back on track, if i ever get back. But seriously, don't lie. It only ends in tears. Both yours and the person you lied to.

Never give up, guys. If you have a mission, finish it, 007! That was so lame. But if you are, just make sure you are the one who ends up happy.

Laura is pestering me to finish this blog, so I better post it!

Song Of The Blog -
Same Mistake - James Blunt

It made me cry. :'(

Over and Out, Lyndall

I have been stuck for inspiration lately for songs, so I don't think I'll be posting any anytime soon.

Uh Oh.

My Melbourne friends aren't going to like this, buuuut... I'm gonna write a blog about my time so far in Perth.

Penrhos (apart from the uniforms) is actually a really good school. The maths methods they teach you are so handy, and a lot of the work isn't really that boring.

But apart from all the educational part of school, I have made some really awesome friends.

Sonja is one of the best friends I could ever possibly make. She just understands everything, and it has been so hard for me lately... she's just been great. She's my musical soul mate! She's always fun, and even when I'm sad she cheers me up and I hope that over the next 2 years, I can be there for her, the way she has been over the last few weeks. She's so beautiful, and fun and amazing. I really hope she loves me as much as I love her, because seriously, she's amazing.

Shaz (the new one) is so much fun to be around! She's loud and hilarious and continuously makes you laugh. She gives really good hugs and just makes you feel good. I trust her with everything and that's why she's made it to this blog, because she's perfect and I love her so much.

Sarah is my sl*tty nerd. Haha. She's heaps and heaps of fun! We thumb wrestle in Speech Day rehearsals, which is hilarious, because somehow we always end up in a draw. She's a really great friend, who always makes me smile, especially when she freaks out about lady bugs being on her back. She's a really good laugh, and I love her heaps.

Mai is hilarious. She has a million different laughs, which are all hilarious. She's always got a smile on her face and just generally likes having fun. She's so damn lovable! Friends always.

Laura is the kindest person you will ever meet, ever! She's so nice to everyone all the time! I'm amazed that she can smile so much, without killing her cheek bones! She's amazing. Love her heaps!

Amanda is nice, funny, smart and really easy to get along with. She's a really good person!

I'm writing a bloody essay here! Hahaha. I've gotta cut them short, damn it!

Bec is a beautiful person, we laugh so much and make each other smile. I love her heaps and shes got a blog too! Read it, it's awesome!

Elisha (I'm pretty sure that's how you spell it), she's a ball to be with. We have heaps of fun in form and everything. She cheers me up!

Angus!! Hahaha we are going to try a joint blog soon, which will be awesometastical. He's a very big optimist, which is definitely a good thing. He doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him and he's nice to everyone.

There are so many more GREAT friends I've made here. I'm going to mention your names, just because there is not enough time in the world to write how amazing you all are. Rosie, Elise, Maya, Evey, Georgia, Sam, Courtney, LOBSTER!, 'Alexis' (bahaha), Kirsty, Sinead, Sarah, Nicola and Jess. Sorry if i forgot anyone :S Song Of The Blog is: Happy - NeverShoutNever! Enjoy! Over an Out, Lyndall. P.S. Sorry this one was so boring. :P

Embarrassment.

I AM NOT A FREAK HEIDI!

Hahaha this blog is all about how EMBARRASSED I am.

All my friends are reading it! :'(

GAH! Man. I just took the link off my facebook page.

I'm considering deactivating my account. I never thought anyone looked at my profile. :O

Apologies:
To Heidi. I love you. Heaps. I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. It was how I felt at the time.

And uhh, sorry to anyone else hurt by these blogs.

Over and Out, Lyndall.

Rantie Rant Rant.

So, everyone is being really supportive of my blogs, so YAY.

I'm really stuck for inspiration for a new song, so i decided I'd fix the old one, so now the last chorus is:
Now you're alone in the dark.
Not even you know who you are.
You can only run away
From every fear you need to face.
I'm just gonna say goodbye
'Cause it was all a lie.
How could you be so naive?
Flying without wings.

Teeheehee.

I saw Alex again today. On the bus.

OH MY GOSH! Graduation is coming up this Friday, and I need ideas for costumes. I was thinking a elf/pixie thing, but I have no idea.

This guy James has been texting me for ages. Sending me all this stuff like "I miss you" and "I love you". Guess how i know him. I don't. He's Heidi's cousin's best friend. I met Jon (Heidi's cousin) ages ago, and he liked me, and then I said "I'm moving, so... no." and then he tells his friend James to add me on msn, so he can 'spy' on me, and tell him everything I said.
The other day was quite strange though. James told me he loves me.

I've never met him in person, and he was serious. Weeeirdooo.

Anyway, he will NOT stop TEXTING me! The things he says are really cute and sweet, but I found out like ten minutes ago that he's sending the same one's to Heidi. I feel really stupid now. Hah, you'd think I'd be used to it by now...

The deal with Heidi at the moment, I'm not even sure about. She's acting like everything's ok, and nothing ever happened. Well, FYI! It did. She lied to me. Uggggghhhhh! She calls and texts me all the time, and laughs at me and just babbles on and on and on. And just because she doesn't have a relationship of her own doesn't mean she can go around RUINING everyone else's! But I have moved on from him, I'm still annoyed at her though.

Sophie's coming! YAY! on the 5th of December! I'm so excited!

Wow, this blog is boring.

I was in science today and there was a poster up saying what different contraception methods don't work and the methods were:
-putting coke up the vagina
-putting asprin up the vagina
-using glad wrap instead of a condom
(and my personal favorite)
-jumping up and down after sex.

Seriously, how dim can people be!?

SONG OF THE BLOG!
Dinosaur - Kisschasy
BEST SONG EVER.
i love it.

Over and Out, Lyndall

Idiot.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Does anyone else think my blog about Alex is hilarious!?
No? Oh. Ok then.

Well i can't believe how stupid I was! It actually didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. There are plenty of other people out there, who are going to make me so much happier than he ever did. For example: My friends. As I have said in MANY previous blogs, my friends are amazing. I've also met the best friend I will ever have. Her names Sophie.

She introduced me to Alex, and he had hurt her so much. He's been completely ignoring her too, but I've decided, I don't want anything to do with him anymore. He has hurt me, and more importantly, my BEST friend, and I can't take it anymore. They were best friends though, but he just started ignoring her all of a sudden. That guy seriously needs to find a heart, because all he ever does is push everyone away. I hope he realizes what a complete douche he's been.

There are plenty of other guys out there! Did I seriously think I'd never find a guy as good as Alex? He's one of the worst! Gosh I feel like slapping myself! (Don't worry, I wont do it too hard.)

But you know, there's always the NEW Alex... Ok. Here's the story:
Shaz had to stay after school two weeks ago, so she got me to stay too. We saw this Wesley guy (Wesley is Penrhos (my school's) brother school) who looked pretty cute. He sat down and everyone told me to go up to him and talk, I was about to, but then he laid down in a really awkward position. Lauren did it instead. Then the rest of us went over. He was cute, sporty and had the most amazing smile. We talked for a while, and then he gave me his phone, to put my number in. I did ;). Next week, I saw him on my bus! HA! He said "Oh! Hey!" and his heart melting smile came up again, but I was talking to my friends, so I didn't talk to him, then he said "See you later!" as I got off. AAAaaawwwwwwWwww.
Then he was on the bus again TODAY! :D and I talked to him then. He said he catches the bus a lot, depending on whether he had training or something. Then we talked about the weather and how hot is was. But... anyway!

Yeah, hehehe. I have this french quiz night thing coming up tomorrow, with some Wesley boys, he's in year ten though so he wont be there. I hope it's fun!

Well today I learned:
1) You don't need to put up with idiots.
2) Just because you think someone broke your heart, doesn't mean they actually did.
3) Love can be infatuation.
4) Alex is a very common name.
5) If you get dumped, don't waste your time with them, if it's love, they'll have to come back to you.
6) You have to let life take its coarse, you cant stop the Earth from going around.
7) Don't be desperate, it wont help.
8) Everything happens for a reason, and it's always for the best.

Anyway! Enough of my ranting about relationships, SONG OF THE BLOG TIME!

This blog's song is:
I'm Gonna Find Another You - John Mayer
Hahahaha I actually love it.

Over and Out, Lyndall.

Flying Without Wings

Okay, so I've decided that I get extremely bored, so as of today I will be blogging very often.
Whether I post a story, a life lesson, a rant, jokes, or even a song will be whatever I feel like on the day. Today I feel like just ranting, and I'll post one of my songs, and you guys can tell me what you think!

Well, the song I've recently written is called flying without wings. It's not quite perfected yet, but this is basically it:

My heart's broken, you wont mend it,
How could I be so blind? Why didn't I end it?
How could I not see the clouds you cast upon me,
With your lies, and you games and my pain?
Sitting in my room, looking at at our pictures,
I tear in half a photo of our love struck figures.
There's no light at the end of this long, cold tunnel,
It's a damp, dark, dead end.

Don't leave me in the dark,
Tell me who you really are.
How could you treat me that way?
How could you lie to my face?
All the secrets we could have shared,
You didn't even care!
I believed every word you said.
Had some idea in my head,
Of how I wanted you to be,
And you never made me happy.
How could I be so naive?
Flying without wings.

I've tried so hard to be there, to help,
Give me a reason to stay in hell,
When I have to walk this path alone, forever,
With the flames, and the ash, and the ruins.
I was trying to follow your lead,
But the path became so misty,
With our love and faith wearing thin.

You took things too far,
And now you've torn out my heart.
Trusted with my heart and soul too,
None of it was ever really true.
Tried to see past the lies to the best,
You couldn't even be honest.
How can you look me in the eye?
When all you ever do is lie?
How could I be so naive?
Flying without wings.

Do you just push away, everyone that ever cared?
Because I don't see anyone waiting there,
By your side, to help you out,
Or have they all just ran out?
Of patience and love and motivation?
Or did they leave out of frustration?
Well, unless you start to care again,
I have to say this is the end.
And hopefully you'll find someone,
Who'll put up with all the sh*t you've done.

Don't leave me in the dark,
Tell me who you really are.
How could you treat me that way?
How could you lie to my face?
How can you look me in the eye?
When all you ever do is lie?
How could you be so naive?
Of coarse love stings.

Thats it. Yeah. Pretty bad. I don't know.

Song of the blog is:
Mr. Brightside - The Killers

It's a really good song. I love it.

Over and Out, Lyndall.

P.s. Yeah, I did change it to song of the blog, from song of the week.

Boyfriends.

OK, i may not be the person to ask about relationships.
1) because i have been in way too many.
2) because i am always the one stuffing them up.
3) because i fall in love much too easily.

i hate the fact that i get so caught up in all of it, that i stuff everything up.

OK, so, i find the most amazing guy.

Alex.

he is seriously the most amazing.

anyway, i am absolutely gob smacked when he kisses me. then a few days later he asks me out. i was very very amazed. but then about 2 weeks later, i move to Perth. i said to him, seriously, whatever makes you happy is fine by me.
and he says something i never would've expected.
"Im a very patient person haha, and you are certainly worth it, so i can wait :). xxxx"
i am ecstatic at this point.
then he doesn't call for two weeks. i called him, he only answered once.
and i got three texts. two within half an hour.
i got so upset, and it was really getting me down.
so tonight i go on msn, disappointed again because hes not online, but then i call my friend Heidi.
she tells me, "Alex doesn't want you anymore."
"how do you know?"
"Because he told Sophie. Sophie and I have tried to tell you but you never listened."
"You never tried to tell me he didn't want me."
then i was quiet, almost in tears.
"So that's why he's ignoring me..."
"Yeah."
Oh, great friend you are.
in a fit of rage, i grabbed the phone and sent Alex a text saying "You're a coward. It's over."
i run and get the phone and call Sophie. she is my best friend. i could never live without her. she says that he never said anything like that and she hasn't spoken to him in ages. then i had a huge spaz at heidi for lying. she lied to me! and RUINED my relationship with Alex.
He was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Why would she say that?
Why would she betray me?
How dare she?

From this, i have learned the following:
1) You cant always trust your friends
2) Wait until you have all the facts to do anything drastic.
3) When something amazing comes along, fight for it.
4) If you're not motivated to fight for it, it's obviously not worth it.
5) Never make a decision based on gossip.
6) Never let go of love.

My favorite quote from any song ever written is:
saying 'i love you' has nothing to do with meaning it - Maroon 5

I don't think breaking up with Alex was for the best, and it'll take me a long time to get myself back together. I am going back to Melbourne in about a month, and i really hope to see him then. I really miss him, and i was actually going to change the AFL team i barrack for (not that that is anything amazing), for him (and also because i go for collingwood, but i got swooped twice today). I would almost do anything for him, and now I've gone and thrown everything away.

Smart one, Lyndall.

I will now be doing a song of the week
this weeks song is:
One Crowded Hour - Augie March

Hope everyone's day was better than mine!

One Crowded Hour was Alex's favorite song, and also mine. I hope you enjoy it, because i cant even let myself listen to it. It hurts the most.

Dreams

Have you ever had an extremely strange dream, and then woken up and thought "what the hell was i thinking!?"? Well i had one of those dreams just the other night.

I was in Anglesea, a small town on the Great Ocean Road and i went to the local IGA (supermarket) and i bought a small packet of lollies (yum!). i went over to the counter and the guy said i had won something. i asked him what he said, "OMG you won a horse!". I was pretty happy.  Dad told me it was time to go back to Melbourne, but he said i couldn't bring the horse but he could come back and get it later. I went and found a bare block of land and tied the horse to a tree. The horse would need water and food until my dad got back so i went to the people living next to where i left the horse. i rang the doorbell and out popped an old lady can i help you? she asked, yes- but i was cut off because a fat ferrule fat man stomped down the hall and pushed her of the porch and surprisingly enough i didn't take any notice. i asked him if he could look after my horse he said "sure..." and then a huge evil grin appeared on his face, "i'll take care of that silly horse, but i cant promise it wont get bitten, that field is full of snakes." i ran down and untied the horse and ran, every second step i saw another snake and screamed"SNAKE!" over and over. then of corse, how every dreams ends, i woke up.

Funnily enough, i don't mind snakes, they're actually not that scary and i love looking at horses but i don't love them. i don't want one. Today's question is, What do our dreams mean? A friend told me that dreams are either what you want or what has happened to you already. well i've never won a horse, and i don't want one, and i'm not afraid of snakes and i've never screamed at one. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? am i crazy?

This isn't my craziest dream though. once when i was about 6 i had a strange dream that i was in a huge meadow with dinosaurs. i wasn't scared, i just stood there. then the count from sesame street was running after me counting my steps in that stupid accent of his, then i was scared.

See what I mean? Dreams are weird. And for the record, i have never been nor wanted to be in a field of dinosaurs. and i DEFIANTLY have never been or wanted to be chased by the count.

Well, I'm off now. I found a great song that ALL of you should DEFIANTLY take a look at. Todays was your last dayby Nickelback. I love it.

Over and Out, Lyndall

Country girl realizes something...

Coming from the country, to a great city like Melbourne, happiness is an emotion I realized Melbourne is lacking. The shopkeepers, who are supposed to be warm, friendly and happy, are not. They walk around the store with slouched backs and speak in a slow monotone voice.

My question is why citizens of Melbourne are always so unhappy. It is quite rare to find a lone person walking the streets of the CBD with a smile on their face or a skip in their step. I mean seriously, why is it so bad? Why do people frown while walking the streets of Melbourne? I know some people have something horrible in their life going on and I respect that its just if you work in the city, life can't be too bad, all the time.

Walking in the beautiful Collins Street, I passed many people conversing with each other and almost each time I heard swearing. Swearing is another one of Melbourne’s faults. It is quite rude and should be frowned upon. People often use bad language because they are angry, but even in the calmest of situations some people just use swearing for emphasis or to seem more ‘cool’.  If their definition of ‘cool’ is rude, obnoxious and couldn’t care less about small children then they’ve captured ‘cool’ perfectly.

I also find it down right rude when you accidently bump into someone, you say sorry and smile and they just stickup their long pointy noses make a 'humph' sound and stomp off. It can't have hurt that much and at least we say sorry. and stomping of is stupid too, they look like two year olds not getting what they want. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS!? Everyone is so rude and, well just really rude.  Why not smile? Everything is better when you smile. I seriously think depression is evolving into a disease, I'm immune, but it's HIGHLY contagious. Lets call it... the sad flu, because it is like the swine flu, spreads fast and completely sucks.

I came from the country, and everyone knew everyone and if we didn't know them we would introduced ourselves. Swearing in the streets was never an issue, everyone smiled at each other and if you bumped into someone, it didn't matter, you just said sorry, smiled and walked off. the country is a beautiful, colourful place and I hope that the sad flu doesn't spread to the country, that would be awful. People of the country, I salute you if you smile while walking past people, because smiles are the best. THE best.

I personally love the country. The city would be AMAZING if people could smile more. I repeat, AMAZING. It would be so much more welcoming. I want to start a revolution. If you're reading this, please make the effort to smile and be polite.

I will leave you with some good advice, if it's not happy, it's not the end.

Listen to People Should Smile More by Newton Faulkner, It's inspiring.

Over and Out, Lyndall

My First Rant. How Delightful.

Today, was an alright day. I sat at home watched TV, played the computer, did a little scrap booking, and then came to write my blog. At first I had completely no idea what to write in todays blog, then i decided i would write about nosey people.

Nosey people are terrible. they like to get all up in your business and then twist it to make it sound worse or completely wrong. I especially hate it when they keep asking you what's wrong, and you either don't want to tell them, or there is NOTHING WRONG. I mean c'mon people! it's none of your bees wax, so stay out of it.

Rumors are another terrible thing. They are usually exaggeration of the truth but some is just complete crap. In year 7, there was a rumor going around that I had an STI (completely absurd). I was in yr 7 for crying out loud! Some people are crazy.

I also hate people who you think are your friends and then stab you in the back. Well, this has happened to me on various occasions. In fact, they turned the knife too. Rachel, I girl from my old school was the worst. I was best friends with two guys: Ollie and Jack. One day i was walking with her and a whole lot of other people when she called out to Ollie "Ollie, want to go out with Lyndall?" he replied "Only if SHE asks me". I wanted to stab her back. I never asked, and we never spoke again. About a week later we were all sitting in the library, Jack as well. I went to get a book and Rachel said to him, "Lyndall wants to know if you'll go out with her." he said, "Finally, sure." Rachel ran over to me and said "Umm, I might have done something very wrong." i said "What did you do this time?" she said, "I asked Jack out for you and he said yes." I was so angry. Later on I had to go tell him the whole thing was a joke, and not surprisingly, he never spoke to again either. Turns out, she also started the rumor.

So, you see, people like Rachel are cruel. They want to destroy someone's reputation, for their own evil pleasure. There might be reasons behind the random acts of not-so-kindness. I guess I'll never know.

Over and Out, Lyndall

Never Know.

Why do people never know what they have until it's gone? Simple answer. They don't appreciate things. I have changed my view on friends. In primary school, I had the worst friends. I changed for them. I'd do anything for them. They did nothing. After I moved to Melbourne last year I never really had real friends. My friends used to exclude me, tease me and worst of all leave me behind. I decided to give up on girls as friends, they were always pushing me around. I went and made some male friends. They weren't too good either. My guy friends all started 'liking' me so it was always awkward. I stayed with them because I thought 'At least they care'. After about a month my friends came to me asking if I could be their friend again. i naturally said yes. I ended up, right back where I was, in the dirt. Then came Nick.

Nick was my very best friend. he actually cared, and stood up for me, and I did the same for him. In english one day he started asking me questions about who I liked. I didn't 'like' anyone. Then at the end of the day, he asked if I 'liked' him. I said no.

We all had permanent seats, and Nick was seated next to me. The next day I came to school, and he hated me. He started kicking my shins under the desk, hitting my arms, calling me names. He made new friends, Luke and Max. They did it to me too. I hated it. It stopped in Year 7. We were in different classes. Thank goodness. He ask me out 3 times after that. Each time I said no. As if I would say yes after all that! Anyway...

In January 2008 I moved to Melbourne. I made even worse friends, and almost completely gave up. The whole year I was drowning in bad friends. Apart from one very special person, Keerthana. She was my life, the light at the end of the tunnel as you could say. I love her. she was and still is the best person you will ever meet. At this very moment I can barely see the keypad because my eyes just flooded with tears.

It wasn't until this year that I found true friends. Ones that would stick by my side, love me, hug me, friends I will never forget. I cried, when we went to the movies, because I felt like I belonged. They are the best friends a person could ever have. I love you guys. I would die for you.

Another of my obstacles is Cystic Fibrosis. I have it, and it's not good, but not bad. My pancreas is blocked off from the rest of my digestive system. Also, my lungs have much thicker mucus than yours, so it's much easier for me to get colds and coughs and much harder to get rid of them. Most people with CF live to be around 35. I'm lucky, and healthy, so I may live to be 50 or 60.

Keerthana I love you. Always Have always will. You are my angel. X.

So, to all those people out there, reading this. If you live under a roof, have fresh clothes for the morning and have amazing friends and family, you are the luckiest people alive.  I beg of you. Please do not take your life for granted. Mine is cut short, I'm making the best of what's left. Please think of my opening question, whenever you feel down, because people never know what they've got till it's gone.

Last Day of the Beloved Urban Week

Today, i realized how great the city is. It has everything. From brand name shops to beautiful old churches. The city is amazing. Before Tuesday, I had never been to the city. When I first walked under the Flinders Street clocks, everything was wonderful.

On Tuesday, I went to 'The Big Issue'. I was amazed at how lucky I actually am, and how unlucky some people are. I truly appreciate the life I have now. I completely love what they are doing at 'The Big Issue', it helps so many people. We got to meet an inspiring man, called Aaron. he is my idol, so Aaron, you are amazing. Later on, Sophie, Cassie and I all went to get a hot chocolate from Max Brenan's. The best hot chocolate I've ever had. Afterwards we went shopping in really expensive shops (Soph's idea). We were in Hugo Boss when Sophie recieved a call from an old primary school friend she had been trying to call all morning. She dragged me all the way down to Flinders Lane to meet up with him and his three friends. Soph knew Johnny (the guy who called) and Branden, one of his friends. We passed some window washers and then found them. I swear I was so close to fainting or melting that I was choking on my words. Johnny was hot. Really hot. I was complaining about how slowly they walked and Sophie said, "I think it's because they try to strut." I laughed. In the elevator up to our room Sophie said to me "You know Toneya? She thinks Johnny is hot." I replied "Can't imagine why." Incase Sophie got suspicious .

Wednesday, I was sitting in room 11.05 in VUT, when Claire, Laura and Brooke approached me. Claire said "You know Johnny, Soph's friend, that you met yesterday?" I nodded, she said "He thinks your really hot." I went running up to my friends practically screaming. I was so excited. Luckily enough, Sophie was away sick, so she wouldn't be sus. I was almost always hyperventilating. I had the rest of the day off, so i went shopping with Steph, Geena and Shaz, at the big Cotton on sale. I bought 2 pairs of sunglasses.

Yesterday, I went to the Aquarium. Our tour guide was Jason. His blink was very strange and forced, but, boy, does he know his fish.  Hannah and i named a glowing penguin Georgio. He was awesome. Steph was complaining to me because I have been asked out three times this semester, and rejected them all. Then I told her about Johnny, which didn't make things any better.

Today, I had 2 electives on in the morning. I had family planning and the AEC. Family planning was really boring but AEC was okay. Once again I had the whole afternoon off. I wondered around Melbourne and bought McDonalds for lunch, because I am a pig. Cassie, Caitlin Chantal and I all went down to Fed. Square for lunch, and I fed the seagulls, which wasn't a good idea because afterwards they swooped Cass. We walked around a bit more and I bought a necklace from diva. After I caught an express train back to Camberwell, Hannah, Maddy, Georgie and I went and saw 'The Proposal'. it was hilarious. I came home went on facebook for ages and then started a blog. hope you all have a lovely weekend! Over and out, Lyndall.