Boyfriends.

OK, i may not be the person to ask about relationships.
1) because i have been in way too many.
2) because i am always the one stuffing them up.
3) because i fall in love much too easily.

i hate the fact that i get so caught up in all of it, that i stuff everything up.

OK, so, i find the most amazing guy.

Alex.

he is seriously the most amazing.

anyway, i am absolutely gob smacked when he kisses me. then a few days later he asks me out. i was very very amazed. but then about 2 weeks later, i move to Perth. i said to him, seriously, whatever makes you happy is fine by me.
and he says something i never would've expected.
"Im a very patient person haha, and you are certainly worth it, so i can wait :). xxxx"
i am ecstatic at this point.
then he doesn't call for two weeks. i called him, he only answered once.
and i got three texts. two within half an hour.
i got so upset, and it was really getting me down.
so tonight i go on msn, disappointed again because hes not online, but then i call my friend Heidi.
she tells me, "Alex doesn't want you anymore."
"how do you know?"
"Because he told Sophie. Sophie and I have tried to tell you but you never listened."
"You never tried to tell me he didn't want me."
then i was quiet, almost in tears.
"So that's why he's ignoring me..."
"Yeah."
Oh, great friend you are.
in a fit of rage, i grabbed the phone and sent Alex a text saying "You're a coward. It's over."
i run and get the phone and call Sophie. she is my best friend. i could never live without her. she says that he never said anything like that and she hasn't spoken to him in ages. then i had a huge spaz at heidi for lying. she lied to me! and RUINED my relationship with Alex.
He was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Why would she say that?
Why would she betray me?
How dare she?

From this, i have learned the following:
1) You cant always trust your friends
2) Wait until you have all the facts to do anything drastic.
3) When something amazing comes along, fight for it.
4) If you're not motivated to fight for it, it's obviously not worth it.
5) Never make a decision based on gossip.
6) Never let go of love.

My favorite quote from any song ever written is:
saying 'i love you' has nothing to do with meaning it - Maroon 5

I don't think breaking up with Alex was for the best, and it'll take me a long time to get myself back together. I am going back to Melbourne in about a month, and i really hope to see him then. I really miss him, and i was actually going to change the AFL team i barrack for (not that that is anything amazing), for him (and also because i go for collingwood, but i got swooped twice today). I would almost do anything for him, and now I've gone and thrown everything away.

Smart one, Lyndall.

I will now be doing a song of the week
this weeks song is:
One Crowded Hour - Augie March

Hope everyone's day was better than mine!

One Crowded Hour was Alex's favorite song, and also mine. I hope you enjoy it, because i cant even let myself listen to it. It hurts the most.